Let's Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell

Let’s Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell is the reason I wanted to start a book blog. Of course I wanted to share my feelings about this book, but even if no one else ever reads this entry, I wanted to get my thoughts down because of the emotions that were stirred.

As it says on the front cover, it’s as memoir of friendship. More specifically a memoir of the friendship between Gail Caldwell and Caroline Knapp, who first met in Boston at a party in the early 1990’s when the former was the book review editor at the Boston Globe and the latter was a columnist for the Boston Phoenix. From a quiet first social encounter they become reacquainted due to both having young puppies who needed a lot of walking and attention. Over time a love affair with dogs became a love affair of friendship that lasted a lifetime.

This could so very easily have been a book that was all surface. It has all the hallmarks of melodrama. Discussion of alcoholism and abstinence, steadfast male friends, toxic boyfriends, sport as an almost mystical refuge and point of connection, adorable dogs and their magical impact on human lives, and in  the end, that most non-magical and non-mystical of afflictions – cancer -  and the shattering impact on individuals and families. Like I say, it has all the hallmarks of melodrama. But it isn’t.

Partly it’s because this is a memoir, not a novel. This is real life and Gail’s lived experience of her friendship with Caroline and how that friendship deeply affected them both. I must give Gail Caldwell huge kudos for her honesty. Caroline had been very public about her struggles with alcohol in her book, Drinking: A Love Story, and this allows Gail to talk about her own experiences, growing up in Texas, learning to be a hard drinking gal, and going into a profession that simply encouraged the tendency. Although so much of the book is almost a love letter to Caroline, it’s not indulgent of Gail to talk about her own struggles with drinking – it feels like their friendship allows her to be brave and honest in her writing about those struggles.

It's a beautifully written book, with more truly arresting turns of phrase that you can shake the proverbial stick at. It means that when I did come across a relatively trite phrase it really stood out because it was such an anomaly. Gail Caldwell definitely knows how to string a sentence together. One that hit me like a hammer was the idea of people needing to go about their daily lives in the chaos after 9/11. ‘“This is what life turns out to be.” We were all living those days inside Auden’s vision of Icarus. Even with a boy falling from the sky, the ships calmed calmly on.’

The book covers a huge number of huge topics, but at its heart it is a story of deep female friendship. Of having someone that understands you and allows you to be open and brave and learn about the self that you are and the self that you might be. I loved that they encouraged each other to try the other’s sport – Gail was a passionate swimmer, and Caroline a passionate rower, and they taught each to the other and this passion is an integral part of their story. Their love of their dogs which initially brought them together becomes a backbone to the memoir and I found myself becoming as attached to Clementine and Lucille as to their owners. Again Gail Caldwell recounts these passions for their sports and their dogs with such depth of emotion that it makes me want to find out where my nearest boat house is, and whether after many years of not having dogs that this might be the time to give in to their siren call.

I’ve read the book twice now and it affected me deeply on both occasions. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried a lot both times, but after a moments reflection it’s also a book at gives me great satisfaction because it’s about such a profound friendship between these two troubled women who found sanctuary, solace and deep joy in their relationship. It makes me wonder what their lives would have been like if they had never found each other, and very thankful that they did. I’m also very thankful that Gail Caldwell was brave enough to write about this friendship with such honesty and grace. If you haven’t read it, I heartily recommend it. I know it’s a book I’ll come back to again. 

Let’s Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell was first published in 2010. My copy was published by Random House.